SOME QUESTIONS ABOUT THE KINDLE

Recently, my publisher and agent have been looking into licensing the rights to publish my books for Amazon's Kindle. Several writer friends now have Kindles and have carried on enthusiastically about them. I'm not so sure.

One writer friend is currently reading a new book on a Kindle. The book was bought for less than the price of the hardback, or a trade paperback and there is every chance that the author received a much lower royalty on that sale than he would have on a traditional book sale. (And, if his contract is anything like mine, he probably only got half of the royalty (minus his agent's 15% of course), while the book's traditional publisher got the other half.) Good for my friend who saved money on the book and loves the Kindle. Good for Amazon who made most of the money. Good for the publisher who got half the royalty at virtually no cost to itself. Not so good for the author.

I've got some questions:

• What are the royalties on Kindle sales? How often are statements issued? How often are they paid?

• Is there any sort of advance payment?

• Is Amazon’s right to publish for the Kindle, exclusive? Is there a limit, time or otherwise, to that exclusivity? Kindle is a proprietary technology, so if they get exclusive rights to a book, it is very much as if we licensed the right to sell a book only to Barnes & Noble and not to Borders or any other bookstores. That seems like a bad idea. At the moment there isn’t much competition for Kindle – although Sony makes an e-book reader – but in the future there will be.

• If we, or our agent, upload the book ourselves (in essence, make the sale ourselves), how is that affected by the existing contract with our traditional publisher – the one that says they get 50% of e-book sale proceeds - but, presumably only if they make that sale, because the contract only gives them “non-exclusive” rights to license subsidiary rights.

• On the other hand, if we (my agent and I) are uploading the version of my books that my traditional publisher worked on – editing, formatting, cover art, etc. – then they probably are entitled to some percentage, even if they didn’t make the “sale.” But, probably it should be less than 50% since they aren’t having to produce and distribute an actual book, and we’re doing the work to upload the book, or the manuscript or whatever. If that is the case, what percent are they entitled to?

A lot of these issues are similar to those that led the screenwriters to go on strike last year. But, we book authors don't have the same sort of clout - very few of us have networks, advertisers and viewers dependent on our output.

At the moment, sales of e-books for the Kindle - and for Sony's reader - are pretty small. But they're growing. And as the technology improves, as more reading machines come on the market, as more books are available at lower prices, that market is going to grow - fast. And unless writers' contracts reflect these technological and market changes, writers are going to be on the losing end.

My standing instructions to the lawyer who reviews my contracts are: "As a writer, I realize that I'm going to get screwed. Just make sure that they use enough lube." The Kindle is going to require an additional application of grease to my contracts before I’m happy with it.

i also have a toy of it.

Superman's rocket with realistic 'fisting' action.....and just how excited is that wee boy at the thought of having it tried out on him?

omfg.

Doctor Who, The Stolen Earth, the last five minutes.

Does teevee get any better than this?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA & THE U.S.

Yesterday, June 27, Emma Goldman was 139 years old. So long as there is anyone left alive who loves freedom and who loves the U.S. for the real reasons that it is great, she lives on. It is fitting that the celebration of her birth should come close to July Fourth, Independence Day.

Here's what she had to say about the U.S. while she was on trial for speaking out against the draft during the First World War - another "war for democracy." (I think I may have blogged about this before, but it bears repeating, especially during an election year.)

"Who is the real patriot, or rather what is the kind of patriotism that we represent? The kind of patriotism we represent is the kind of patriotism which loves America with open eyes. Our relation towards America is the same as the relation of a man who loves a woman, who is enchanted by her beauty and yet who cannot be blind to her defects. And so I wish to state here, in my own behalf and in behalf of hundreds of thousands whom you decry and state to be antipatriotic, that we love America, we love her beauty, we love her riches, we love her mountains and her forests, and above all we love the people who have produced her wealth and riches, who have created all her beauty, we love the dreamers and the philosophers and the thinkers who are giving America liberty. But that must not make us blind to the social faults of America. That cannot compel us to be inarticulate to the terrible wrongs committed in the name of the country.
"We simply insist, regardless of all protests to the contrary, that this war is not a war for democracy. If it were a war for the purpose of making democracy safe for the world, we would say that democracy must first be safe for America before it can be safe for the world."

Emma Goldman came here from Lithuania, then part of the Russian Empire. My family showed up about twenty-five years later from Poland, the Ukraine and Romania. And like pretty much everyone else who shows up here, they all came looking for something better; for freedom, opportunity, elbow-room, to live in a society where they could be largely left alone to be themselves. And for the most part, with some terrible exceptions, they found all that.

And they also found each other. Last weekend, here in Los Angeles, I went to a free music festival in Pasadena. There were bands from Mexico, Cambodia, Africa, South America, even places as exotic and foreign as Europe and New York. Earlier in the day I'd had an Armenian lunch. That night my friends and I had a Chinese dinner. And that is not an atypical weekend for many people in America's big cities.

At its greatest, the U.S. isn't a melting pot, it's a stew in which you can taste and savor all of the individual ingredients while also getting the strong flavor of the whole.

And I'm pretty sure that's one of the things that Emma Goldman loved about this country. And one of the things that she understood it takes open eyes and vigilance and tolerance and agitation and speaking up to protect.

On Independence Day we can best celebrate the U.S. both by our willingness to fight for the many things that are right about this country, and against those that are wrong.

By the way: To celebrate both Emma and the U.S.'s birthdays, I made a donation to the Emma Goldman Papers Project at UC Berkeley. The project is laboring to publish a comprehensive four-volume set of Emma Goldman's papers: speeches, letters, articles, pamphlets. This is a treasure that should not be lost. If you're interested in learning more about Emma Goldman, and about the Papers Project, (or in making a donation of your own), you can click here.

pigging hell.

More fat bastard porcine based horror from the classic Italian horror 'comic' Terror, this time around slightly edited to fit in with Photobuckets fairly strict censorship policy and possibly badly translated.

Enjoy!

Glasgow 1982. Sunny Govan is home of two waring communities of rival football supporters.

Young Rangers fan Senga has other problems, tho': she's married to an old but very rich friend of her dads, but unfortunately for such a sexy lady he's crap in bed. Luckily she can always fake an orgasm and has her footie to keep her happy.

Whilst on a day trip to the Pollock Centre she falls in love with the local butcher, number one Hoops fan and under 21's rising star, John Paul.

The young couple realise how much they have in common (sex, football and meat products) so begin an illicit affair. Over time Senga begins to pile on the pounds due to the copious amounts of beef John Paul has been feeding her.

Then late one night Wee Burnie visits her in a dream, and orders her to start butchering the animals herself.

John Paul protests, jealous at the thought of his missis touching anyone (or anything) else's meat but Senga realises that she can make extra cash for spending on alcopops and cheap market gear so goes ahead and does it anyway.

Her wee sister Morag discovers that Senga is shagging a Catholic and, more importantly not offering her family knock off meat pies is understandably devastated.

Deciding to confront their wayward daughter, they are soon told to 'get ta fuck!' as she threatens them with her pet Pitbulls.

She begins to sell her meat all over the south side and even takes another lover, this time a handsome fella fae Easterhouse. Everything seems rosy until one day she goes mad whilst dressed as a bear kills her neighbour, Mrs. Singh.

Her local community pissed off with her antics (and the fact that she's still signing on whilst working) report her to the procurator fiscal and she's sentenced to 40 years in prison.

Dying soon after her release the local kids celebrate by pissing on her grave.

The end.

eve of destruction.

Torchwood's gap toothed and groovy Gwen Cooper naked but for a cushion from Glamour Magazine.

Enjoy.

don't cry for me argentina.

Sadomaster (2005)

Dir: Germán Magariños and Fernando Giangiacomo

Cast: Ezequiel Hansen, Leandro De la Torre, Francisco Pérez Laguna, Mariano Salas and Fernando Giangiacomo.

Asses and Nazi's.....pity there's
no dwarf action too.

Sunny Argentina is being destroyed from within by a particularly nasty bout of ultra-violence.

Nasty Nazi gangs are roaming the streets setting fire to tramps and molesting (leathery) old ladies and only senator Mauricio Beccar Varela (Laguna...like it matters) is man enough to tackle this onslaught of badness by implementing a zero tolerance of naughtiness campaign .

Unfortunately for the people of Argentina Varela leads a double life, by day his a kinda South American David Cameron but by night he is, in fact the evil ring leader of the Nazi gang responsible for the violence (Hang on, that's just David Cameron anyway).

"Are you my mummy?"

The violence goes from bad to worse, what with a defenseless Rabbi beaten to death by a group of junior Slip Knot wannabes and a leather clad perv who gets his kicks by urinating on babies it looks like the city is doomed.

What will it take for someone to take a stand against these rotters?

Surprisingly the answer to that question is actually quite simple, it take the brutal, drawn out torture and rape of a chubby, topless retarded man.

All in glorious close-up.

Lucky, lucky us.

The mutilated body is later discovered by a pissed homeless man walking down the street and looking for a wee bite to eat and, seeing the carnage in the gutter he proceeds to help himself to a spleen (they're full of vitamin C apparently).

Not a still from the film
(to be honest there are precious few I can show)
but a photo of some Pikey kids dogging school
(possibly to actually go dogging - who knows? )
and giving the vickies to the camera.

But as our stinky chum chows down a spooky pentagram begins to flash on the screen and the ghost of the dead chubby (as in dead and chubby, tho' he is actually dead chubby too) man appears from nowhere screaming “Kill them! Kill them! Kill them!”

Reckoning that becoming a black clad vigilante is probably a better career choice that rummaging thru' the bins, the homeless guy fashions himself a homemade gimp outfit and christens himself the Sadomaster before beginning a brutal series of revenge attacks against the gangs and the corrupt politicians.

A still from the aborted The Famous
Five/Frank Castle team-up.

Making up for his stinky fish breath lack of super powers and the fact that he rides a really crap moped by being generally hard as nails, The Sadomaster soon has the evil Nazi's on the run.

But things are probably going to get a lot worse (acting and plotwise) before they get better...

I say probably because by this point I gave up and went to bed. I mean there comes a point when you have to ask yourself is it really worth sitting up late at night feverishly scribbling notes on a film only myself (and possibly Julian Brazier will ever see) as a fat, sweaty Argentinian non-actor grinning like a loon in an attempt to appear to have learning difficulties has a huge rubber cock forced into his mouth in the background?

The final decision was made for me tho' when I caught sight of the pristine and vac sealed uncut copy of the Joe D'Amato classic Porno Holocaust hiding under a pile of Peppa Pig DVD's on my desk.

I mean who wants to watch such mindless and inept shaky cam rubbish as Sadomaster when you know that only a few feet away Mark Shanon's warty scrotum is awaiting your attention in all it's remastered wide screen glory?

Your nan on the phone yesterday.

Costing less than a McDonalds happy meal (and managing to be far less appetizing) this lo-fi revenge flik from the aptly titled Gorevision Films is the kind of movie that the self proclaimed art crowd will muse over for years to come whilst your connoisseur of cult movies (and no doubt all you fine readers here) will (hopefully) see it for the tragically un-hip Mad Foxes rip-off that it really is.

Gore, breasts, mouth-rape, evil Nazi's
and political commentary....



...or Mark Shannon's warty balls...
YOU decide!

Unfortunately Sadomaster was a big enough hit in Argentina to allow Magariños and Giangiacomo to continue making 'films', with their next opus Un Cazador de Zombis currently shooting back to back with an English language version of the same movie.

And I for one can't wait.

Can I just point out that to my many American readers the last bit was what we term irony, or put it this way; for can't wait I mean I hope their studio (and faces) burn down.

Now where are those genital warts....

Celeb Style Find: Reese Witherspoon's Purse

Reese Witherspoon carries an understated black woven Bottega Veneta hobo. Available at Bluefly for $1,192 in brown and white.

Celeb Style Find: Jennifer Garner's Hero Purse

We're loving Jennifer Garner's new Lanvin "Hero" purse that she has been spotted carrying on her recent outings with daughter Violet, 2.

I can't find the white in stock anywhere, but the black version is currently on sale at Barneys. Regularily priced at $1,745.00, currently on sale for $699.00.

busy busy busy.

Not been posting much as I'm (meant to be) working on a rather large art commission...

but to tide you over here's a wee blast from the past, my twin-based film article from the fantastic multiple parenting site www.gotyourhandsfull.com

Enjoy!

when cosplay goes bad (part 3).

More fan-made costumed evil......enjoy!

Isabella Oliver: Hot Summer Maternity Style

Summer is here and it is time to show some skin. For all the expectant moms, you have to check out the collection by Isabella Oliver. Their collection is full of fresh, adaptable maternity wear that can easily dress up and dress down based on your needs.

Their featured product this week is the Isabella Oliver Halter Cross Top. A modern twist on the halter top with their signature ruched sides designed to flatter your pregnant curves and a hidden shelf bra adding extra support.

the greatest film never made?

I would pay good money to see this......if only Helen Slater would say yes.

you wear it well.

Fantastic (and scarily accurate) dress up suits of yesteryear.....I had the Spider-Man one, which did you have?

Outdoor Seafood Sign Capturing Vintage Fun

Ahhh... summers by the ocean. There's just something about summertime by the water -- the smells, the sounds, the feeling. I just want to capture it for a moment and hold it tight. As a result, my kitchen is designed around just that feeling. I'm always on the lookout for great finds that capture that spirit.

I love this outdoor seafood sign that I discovered at Ballard Designs. The vintage inspired print was designed by contemporary artist BJ Schonberg to capture the spirit of mid-century advertising styles.

Available in two sizes and priced between $80 - $160.

Design Within Reach: Industrial House Numbers

It's the boys first week of summer vacation and we've been busily working on outdoor projects. During our frontyard cleanup, I noticed that the peal-and-stick house numbers that were on the mailbox when we moved in had started to un-peal-and-stick. I decided it was time to replace them (and the mailbox too!)

In my search, I found these gorgeous numbers available at Design Within Reach.

The Industrial House Numbers were created by designer Erik Spiekermann with a very distinct, clean, aestetic and modern design. They were inspired by metal stencils where the numbers themselves are cut away from metal.

Currently on sale for $9.99 per number.

fanboy hell (part one).

Here's a wee tip for you, never get your seven year old, wooden handed, blind child to draw your Star Wars tattoo.

get shorty.

Auch Zwerge Haben Klein Angefangen (Even Dwarfs Started Small 1971).

Dir: Werner Herzog.

Cast: Helmut Döring, Paul Glauer, Gisela Hertwig, Hertel Minkner, Gerd Gickel and Pepi Hermine.

In a grimly hostile and starkly lit black and white world populated by dwarfs a group of ker-razy inmates have taken over their asylum in retaliation to the discipline and incarceration of the stoically silent (except for his manic Tarbie like laugh) tough guy Pepe (Gickel).

The institution's director (Hermine), pleading for calm, is holed up in his plush office with Pepe as a hostage as a dozen or so of Pepe's drearily dressed pals try at first to break down the door and free him before getting bored and running riot, smashing stuff, setting (tiny) fires and systematically tormenting any blind people they happen across before committing the totally evil and barbaric act of pushing a truck down a deep hole.

As you would if you were an angry mad little person.

Pepe proudly displays his golden Lego brick.

Every so often the rebels and Hermine shout abuse and threats at each other from afar with Hermine even going so far as threatening to kill Pepe if everyone doesn't return to their cells.

Unfortunately the fact that they're shouting across a vast expanse coupled with the main protagonists tiny ears means that the rebels mishear these rants as an invitation to indulge in comedy food fights, cock fighting (phnarrr) and pig slaughtering competitions followed by frantic masturbation to old porno mags (sadly the last bit is off screen).

After a terrifying scene of crockery based abuse never matched in cinema before or since (they chuck dinner plates at a passing truck) the rascally rebels strap a tiny monkey to a crucifix and set it waddling off towards Hermine's office.

Anti RTD protesters attempt to steal
Peter Davison's celery from his lapel.

Deciding that they need a break from all this wanton destruction our merry band force two of the shortest dwarfs ever seen on screen (a foxy track-suited young Mel C alike and a prune faced old geezer by the name of Hombre - played to pant wetting perfection by Döring) to get married (nice work if you can get it cos she's really not that bad a catch if I'm honest).

At home with Ant and Dec.

After the (genuinely heartwarming) ceremony the 'happy' couple are packed off to the nearest bedroom to consummate the union (it's like a little Big Brother), but unfortunately (for him) Hombre is too little to get up onto the bed (which is good news for us as it means she's still on the market, unsoiled by his wrinkly little hands...hurrah!).

Bored by all these sub-reality Teevee antics, the asylum boss decides to give Pepe a bloody good (off screen) kicking anyway before legging it out of the compound and threatening an old tree.

"...and this is the actual beanstalk
wee Jimmy Krankie fell off!"

The movies final, striking image has never been bettered (to my mind anyway) either artistically or stylistically in the history of cinema, featuring as it does Helmut Döring laughing hysterically as a camel kneels in front of him and has a pooh.

Being used to Silk Cut Lights, Hombre was
justifiably concerned when his friend
offered him a Camel.

Much has been written about Werner Herzog's 1971 Auch Zwerge Haben Klein Angefangen, sometimes even by people who've seen it.

Critics often praise the film for its rich allegorical bent, citing everything from the partition of Germany and the Vietnam war as its underlying central theme, its sparse narrative structure and surrealist improvisational script hailed as cinema transcending into pure art.

Sounds good doesn't it?

Well it's a pity that's all bollocks, because what we really have here is a postmodern industrial version of The Terror of Tiny Town spliced together with the best bits of The Prisoner but minus the songs, horses and Patrick McGoohan shouting loudly in an Irish accent whilst wearing a boating blazer.

And if that's not enough to getting you ordering this masterpiece from Amazon them I don't know what is.

An indispensable film that you MUST own.

Right now.

when feminism goes bad.

A word of warning to all those ladies that shouted at me regarding my blog.
This could be you.....

looking good with gemser.

Just picked up this lost 'classic', Black Emanuele star (and dirty bag of exotic washing) Laura Gemser's fitness video.

Enjoy these top quality screen grabs!

And to think the kids today have to pleasure themselves over the Natalie (chinny Sonia offa Eastenders) Cassidy one.

Sick isn't it?

clark kent: paparazzi scum.