Indian Chicks Are Liars

Hot women can be found all over the world, which is great when you're a suave, sexy globetrotter like me. Unfortunately, some of them are kind of insane. Bollywood star Neetu Chandra did a photoshoot with another girl for the Indian magazine, The Man. Now everyone is calling her a lesbian, which she hates so much she became derogatory.

"If there is even an iota of doubt in anyone's mind, let me make it clear once and for all that I am not a lesbo," she said. "We aren't even touching each other's body." (The Times of India)

Um, unlike your sexy face, pictures don't lie. You're clearly all over her. Because of this, I'm assuming you haven't ever told the truth. Yep, you're a full on "lesbo" all right, or at least you are right here, *tapping forhead*. Mmmhmm.



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Indian Chicks Are Liars

Hot women can be found all over the world, which is great when you're a suave, sexy globetrotter like me. Unfortunately, some of them are kind of insane. Bollywood star Neetu Chandra did a photoshoot with another girl for the Indian magazine, The Man. Now everyone is calling her a lesbian, which she hates so much she became derogatory.

"If there is even an iota of doubt in anyone's mind, let me make it clear once and for all that I am not a lesbo," she said. "We aren't even touching each other's body." (The Times of India)

Um, unlike your sexy face, pictures don't lie. You're clearly all over her. Because of this, I'm assuming you haven't ever told the truth. Yep, you're a full on "lesbo" all right, or at least you are right here, *tapping forhead*. Mmmhmm.



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THE POVERTY OF THEOCRACY and ARCHITECTURE

Before I get started, I want to assure everyone reading this blog entry that I do not regard any one religion as any better, or worse than any other. I am an atheist and proud of it.

Yesterday I visited the Los Angeles Cathedral for the first time. It is also known locally as the "Rog Mahal" or the "Taj Mahoney" after the local cardinal, Roger Mahoney, who oversaw its construction.

I really, really wanted to hate it. Here's why:

The estimated final cost of its construction was $190 million. That doesn't even include the land or the furnishings, such as the main altar that cost five million bucks. The front doors that cost three million. The lectern that cost two. The bishop's chair cost one million dollars, the president's and deacons' chairs cost $250 thousand each. Every single one of the numerous chandelier/speakers cost $150 thousand each.

And the exterior is hideous. It looks like it's sheathed in plywood. It has no character.But, meanwhile, in the year that the cathedral was opened, 2002, the L.A. Archdiocese, facing a budget shortfall of $4.3 million (about 14 of those magnificent chairs), closed its ministries for students, the disabled, minorities, and gays and lesbians.

In 2006, faced with court settlements from child molestation cases that Cardinal Mahoney had attempted to sweep under the carpet, that might amount to a portion of forty million dollars, the church plead poverty.

The real estate portfolio of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, more than 1,600 properties, is estimated at over four billion dollars in value. Only $175 million of that is not exempt from property taxes. (If the Archdiocese had to pay property taxes, it would owe about $50 million per year to the County of Los Angeles. That would pay for a school or two.)

(By the way, I don't want to single out the Catholic church. If you took all the tax-exempt property holdings of all the religious institutions in Los Angeles County, and taxed them at the standard rates, the county's budget would be in surplus rather than deficit.)

In 1976 a very rough, low estimate of tax-exempt church property nationwide, was about $120 billion in value. If you only adjust that for inflation since, not even taking the general rise in property values, or further purchases by religious institutions into consideration, the 2008 figure would be about $450 billion. That was a low estimate.

So, like I said, I wanted to hate the place.

And though I do hate the idea of it, on the inside, architecturally, artistically, I liked it a lot. I think it ought to be taken away from the church for back taxes or whatever excuse the government can come up with, and turned into a public performing arts center. Maybe the furnishings can be sold to give the operating budget a kick start.

This picture doesn't come close to doing it justice: (This is the only picture in this blog entry that I took.)Now this is coming from someone who generally loathes church architecture. I think Notre Dame is an abomination. Westminster Abbey ought to be leveled, the Vatican crushed under the feet of some giant reptile risen out of the Tiber.

Why I detest church architecture is best summed up by one building, a primary example of architecture as the expression of an ideal. (Please keep in mind that I'm speaking aesthetically here. Ideologically, I find equal fault with all religions.)

The Mezquita in Cordoba, Spain was once a mosque. It is now a cathedral. This picture gives you a rough sense of what it was like when it was a mosque:It was in a garden setting, largely open to the sky, a series of graceful arches with very little internal decoration. A place where people were encouraged to come, sit on the floor, read, think, discuss. From an architectural perspective, it was built to enhance the senses and thoughts of the people who came to it.

Now here's what it looks like after the Catholic architects got to it:They stuck a huge, vaulted, ornate ceiling over all of it. They filled in a great many of the arches with heavy, dark sculptures and paintings and altars. What little natural light finds its way into the building, does so through thick, dirty stained glass high up. It has been built to render the people entering into it awestruck, dumbstruck more like it, it suppresses the senses by overwhelming them.

What I like, architecturally, about the Los Angeles Cathedral is that it is relatively simple. Sure, it's got high vaulted ceilings, but it has enormous skylights and surfaces and colors that make use of all that natural light. The art is not oppressive, heavy-handed, it is in soft, organic colors and in spite of its religious nature, does to an extent reflect the community. It is beautiful, but not overwhelming. A place in which a person can reflect upon things, rather than be beat over the head with them.

It would be a great addition to Los Angeles, if only it could be wrested away from the control of the tax-dodging charlatans that run the place. And there's a whole lot of other buildings around town that I could say the same thing about.

In the course of researching this blog entry, I came across a quote from Ben Franklin that should appeal to my readers who believe in free markets and who believe that churches should be no more tax-exempt than you or me.

"When a religion is good, I conceive it will support itself; and when it does not support itself, and God does not take care to support it so that its professors are obligated to call for help of the civil power, it's a sign, I apprehend, of its being a bad one." -- Benjamin Franklin

Teri Hatcher in a bikini

Here's Teri Hatcher swimming in Miami and, Jesus Mother of God, I forgot how awesome those things are. It's sort of like finding your favorite blanket you loved as a kid except it's Terri Hatcher's breasts. Also, you didn't have to kidney punch your nephew who wasn't even using it, mom.


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Teri Hatcher in a bikini

Here's Teri Hatcher swimming in Miami and, Jesus Mother of God, I forgot how awesome those things are. It's sort of like finding your favorite blanket you loved as a kid except it's Terri Hatcher's breasts. Also, you didn't have to kidney punch your nephew who wasn't even using it, mom.


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Botox has Competition!

On the same day it announced a black box warning for Botox (Allergan, Inc) and similar drugs, the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) approved another botulinum toxin product for injection in the U.S. market. Like Botox and Botox Cosmetic, Dysport is made from botulinum toxin type A. It was approved by the FDA on Thursday, April 30th as both an anti-wrinkle treatment and for treating spasm of the neck muscles. The drug is to be distributed in the U.S. by Medicis Pharmaceutical Corp. of Scottsdale (the manufacturer of the popular soft tissue filler, Restylane) and its partner, France’s Ipsen SA. The cosmetic version of Dysport should be available in the U.S. within the next 30 to 60 days. The medical form should be available during the second half of the year. Some say the newer Reloxin may last longer and may cost less since more dilution can be done in the reconstitution process (whereby a certain volume injectable saline is mixed with the purified toxin prior to injection). Others say the two substances are not interchangeable since Dysport may have a tendency to disperse into surrounding muscles and affect their function in a different way than Botox. Regardless, physician training is of utmost importance prior to injection any patient with either Botox or Dysport.

The same day the FDA approved Dysport, it ordered the manufacturers of botulinum toxin injection products to add black box warnings - the agency’s strictest safety alert - to their labels regarding their risk of potentially life-threatening complication when the effects of the toxin spread far beyond the injection site. According to the FDA, such an occurrence can cause symptoms similar to those of botulism, including unexpected muscle weakness, hoarseness, trouble breathing, difficulty swallowing, double vision, blurred vision and drooping eyelids (levator ptosis). The agency said such symptoms have mostly been reported in children with cerebral palsy being treated with the products for muscle spasticity, an unapproved use of the drugs. Symptoms have also been reported in adults treated both for approved and unapproved uses.

The new warning label will apply to Dysport, as well as Allergan’s Botox and Botox Cosmetic and Solstice Neurosciences’ Myobloc. Botox Cosmetic is approved as a wrinkle treatment including injection into the muscles between the brows that cause brow depression called the corrugator supercilii and procerus. Myobloc and Botox are approved for the treatment of spasms of the neck muscles. Botox is also approved for the treatment of severe underarm sweating (primary axillary hyperhidrosis), crossed eyes (strabismus), and abnormal tics and twitches of the eyelids (blepharospasm). These are very effective products for all of the above indications, and 2.5 million injections of Botox were performed in the US in 2008, making it the most popular cosmetic treatment that year. I perform Botox injections many times per week, and find a high degree of patient satisfaction and loyalty associated with the treatment because it works so well for the treatment of dynamic glabellar wrinkles, forehead furrows (frontalis muscle) and crow's feet (lateral orbicularis oculi muscle).

I think it is important to note that the majority of problems in the past with Botox injections were caused in patients who had chronic underlying medical conditions who were injected with the drug for medical reasons such as cervical spasm or muscle contracture. A direct causal link often cannot be established in such cases. The drug Botox Cosmetic, used for wrinkles with superficial facial muscle contraction, is actually very safe, predictable, and has reproducible results when injected correctly. Dysport (called Reloxin in the U.S.) and Botox Cosmetic must, however, be injected by trained professionals with an intimate understanding of the 3-dimensional anatomy of the face, and patient safety is paramount with any injectable. Untrained injectors and injection of copycat or bootlegged, FDA-unapproved products are a major concern as well that have led to some of the negative press surrounding these products. Botox is a product that has been around for decades in the fields of opthalmology and neurology prior to making its debut in the arena of cosmetic procedures. I would be interested to know what the opinion is of the others--do you think Dysport, or Reloxin, will ever top the gigantic Botox market? Join the discussion with me on Medscape Blogs by WebMD.

Rachel Zoe to Launch Clothing Line

Here's news that could make even the grayest, most manic of Mondays feel like a Saturday morning stroll through the park: Rachel Zoe's working on "a full-range clothing line that won't break the bank," according to People StyleWatch. I don't think I'm alone here when I say...I DIE.

“It will be absolutely, 100% accessible fashion for sure — for everybody. There’s no reason for me to do a luxury-level design. That’s not who I am. I don’t think it’s what people want from me. I think that I would need to give people that fantasy becoming a reality. That’s my job,” Rachel told the magazine. Expect clothing, jewelry, handbags, and fragrances, all stamped with the signature Zoe fabulousness that's equal parts Blanche Devereaux and Nicole Richie.

Check out celeb-stylist Rachel Zoe's handpicked favorites at Piperlime

The gals over at The Cut did a bit more digging, and found out that the line will potentially be called, "I Die." (The lawyer of Christopher Suave, the artist Zoe sued for making that brilliant "I Die" T-shirt, thinks that was the reason behind the whole cease-and-desist thing). I won't lie, that seems a little far fetched to me. I'm still holding out for an iteration of my numero uno Zoe phrase of all time...SHUTTING IT DOWN.

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Singer Katy Perry has the fashion world abuzz

Designers have taken note of the up-and-coming pop sensation's quirky, vintage-heavy style and they like what they see.

Katy Perry is squatting over a big duffel bag, rifling through printed dresses, retro rompers, hats, turquoise suede heels and other anti-wallflower accessories, deciding what to wear for the second take of her photo shoot. She holds up a red straw hat with a brim the size of a truck tire, then fishes out a beaded red purse shaped like an apple. "See," Perry says, her huge blue eyes widening. "I love anything fruit."

The pop singer's quirky style and Varga Girl-meets-Joan Jett looks are why she's been on the fashion world's radar for months, though her debut album, "One of the Boys" -- featuring the cheeky, already ubiquitous pop single "I Kissed a Girl" -- is just being released this Tuesday.

This past year, she's been busy vamping it up in fashion spreads for magazines like Nylon and Zink -- not to mention the cover of Women's Wear Daily -- and recently had her wardrobe dissected on "The Fit," a video series on MySpace Fashion.

Designers were calling before her first single even hit the Web, eager to get in early with a potential "it" girl. Perry caught the eye of Betsey Johnson after being snapped in one of the designer's dresses for WWD; soon after, Johnson was dressing the singer for various fall fashion shows in New York in February. "Betsey really likes Katy's appearance," says a spokesperson for the company. "She's very curvy and pinup looking -- a typical Betsey girl."

She's pals with zany T-shirt designer Johnny Cupcakes and dark-and-moody seamster Neil Barrett. Shoe designer Steve Madden has tapped the 23-year-old for an ad campaign in conjunction with her album release. Even Karl Lagerfeld's a fan. Perry attended Chanel's party for its new boutique in L.A. last month wearing a black cocktail dress given to her by the house (a true fashion fanatic, she breathlessly blogged about the gift on www.katyperry.com).

Though Perry's playfully sexy style is the stuff of pop culture gold, the Santa Barbara native wasn't allowed to listen to pop music throughout her childhood. Her parents -- both traveling ministers -- kept their kids on a strict diet of gospel music ("New Kids on the Block? They're still new to me," she jokes).

And she may be singing about kissing girls, but God is first in the album's liner notes, where she writes, "I recognize that my talents are God-given gifts." Perry has "Jesus" tattooed on her wrist in '50s script, but gets shy for the first and only time when it's pointed out, covering it with her hand before reluctantly flashing it again.

Plenty of pop stars have tried to straddle the line between sexy and innocent (Mariah Carey's struggled for years), but with Perry, you get the sense that it's no act.

And it's no mystery why style-watchers have been chasing her down. It's a rare pop tart who comes out of the gate boasting such a bold, distinctive look; even Christina Aguilera flirted with seat-less chaps on her journey to her screen-siren style.

"I really like to look like a history book," says Perry, who talks with her hands -- tipped with short nails painted neon rainbow with leopard spots. "I can look 1940s, I can look 1970s hippie-chic, or sometimes I'll pull that '80s Brooklyn hip-hop kid with the door-knocker earrings."

Retro à go-go

TUCKED into a chaise lounge at Bar Chloe in Santa Monica and clad in a vintage cardigan emblazoned with a bejeweled pineapple, a sunny yellow vintage onesie with a sweetheart neckline -- hair curled in fat ringlets, lips painted stop-sign red -- she resembles one of Slim Aarons' St. Tropez socialites.

"There are definitely flavors of that 1940s pinup in how I dress," Perry says. But like most fashion-forward girls in their early 20s right now, she's also nutso for anything '80s -- big bows, strapless dresses and neon, neon, neon.

Perry's biggest influences, a list of trend-setting female pop-rockers including Cyndi Lauper, Garbage's Shirley Manson, Pat Benatar and Joan Jett, also play into her style. Those women still don't care, she says: "They came out with a vengeance."

Perry gets a regular assist in the wardrobe department from celebrity stylist Johnny Wujek, who's been working with her since 2005. Wujek, who also works with Lake Bell and Kate Mara, says the relationship is pure collaboration -- the pair were good friends even before they started working together. "It just worked out perfectly that I'm a stylist and she's a rock star," Wujek says. "Katy loves to push the boundaries and be her own colorful self. She once told me she wanted to look like an ice cream cone, so I got her a Jeremy Scott dress that's actually an ice cream cone."

Perry credits Wujek with "regularly blowing my mind." For the Nylon shoot, "He made me a headband with my name spelled out in Legos," she says. Though Perry is generally up for anything, she recalls an instance when Wujek took the zaniness too far. "He showed up with a Chiquita banana headdress once, and I was like, 'That's a bit much.' "

Wujek helped pack the bag of sartorial surprises the singer lugged in for this photo shoot, but Perry put herself together that day: test-driving earrings, debating whether to wear a flower in her hair, pulling out reams of belts to pick from.

"I Kissed a Girl" was the No. 2 single on iTunes as of Tuesday, and Perry will be belting it out to thousands this summer as part of the hot-and-sweaty Vans Warped Tour, kicking off at the Fairplex Park in Pomona on Friday. While in hair and makeup for the photo shoot for this article, her publicist showed her a Fox News segment on how local mothers are scandalized by the lyrics ("I kissed a girl and I liked it / the taste of her cherry ChapStick"), prompting Perry to cry, "Yes! My dream is to take on Bill O'Reilly!"

Of course, she's already been anointed by high priestess of pop (and original right-wing instigator) Madonna, who called Perry's sendup of metrosexual men, "Ur So Gay," her favorite song in a recent interview. "I'm still floored by that," Perry says. "It's like, you're Madonna -- you don't have time to be listening to my songs!"

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