Board Certification

With expanding reality shows like Dr. 90210, information regarding plastic surgery is becoming more and more accessible. On Dr. 90210, Dr Diamond and Dr. Li usually present themselves professionally to patients as board-certified plastic surgeons, whereas Dr. Rey usually likes to sweet talk the patient and call them " sweetheart". Although he's the star of the "show", there has been some controversy about his practice since he is not board-certified in plastic surgery (Source: New York Times). How important is board certification ? Well, board certification is an optional, voluntary process. Certification ensures that the doctor has been rigorously tested against his or her peers to assess his or her knowledge, skills, and experience in a specialty, and is deemed qualified to provide quality patient care in that specialty. There are two levels of certification through 24 specialty medical boards — doctors can be certified in 36 general medical specialties and in an additional 88 subspecialty fields. Most certifications must be renewed after six to 10 years, depending on the specialty (Source: American Medical Association). To find out if a plastic surgeon is board-certified is quiet simple. The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ASAPS) has a "Find-A-Surgeon" link that will lead you only to members of this prestigous society in a given geopgraphic area. Being board certified in plastic surgery is a criterion for entry in to this society. Also, searching the American Board of Plastic Surgery website (www.abplsurg.org) or the American Board of Medical Specialties site will yield this information. Dr. Jennifer Walden is a board certified member of ASAPS and if you would like to find out more information on procedures you can go to her website at: www.drjenniferwalden.com.

Congratulations to Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds - Married this past weekend

Here's some proof that Scarlett is one of the most beautiful people in Hollywood:
From an article on makemeheal.com
In Touch Magazine "Best Pair of Breasts in Hollywood"
Esquire and FHM Magazine "Sexiest Woman Alive"
She was awarded second place in the "Most Kissable Lips" contest

Now, the verdict is still out as to whether she has undergone a rhinopolasty procedure. By the looks of these pictures, the bridge of her nose appears narrower and her tip is less bulbous. She has not admitted to having her nose surgically altered and actually was upset by an article in US Weekly Magazine that claimed she was one of Hollywood's many actresses to undergo cosmetic surgery. It could be the make-up, lighting and photography.....but I guess we'll never know!

a mini adventure.

More shlock from our Italian comic cousins with this scary school based tale of terror.

Enjoy!

Yup it looks like an everyday
story of radio-controlled,
pink pants based violence!
Good stuff!



Ms. Hardaker has been pulled into the headmistresses
office due to the fact that her
class are bottom of the league tables.
Again.



Using a form of punishment not sanctioned by the
N.U.T. the head decides to tear her
pants and sussies with a toy car....



...before beating her to buggery with a belt.



But Ms. Hardaker has had enough...
the sight of the good ol' stars and stripes
gives her a burst of super strength...



Raising the flag like a veteran of
Iwo Jima she screams in defiance...

Before stabbing her tormentor thru' the heart.



The end.

Schwarzenegger Vetoes "Donda West" Cosmetic Surgery Law

Gov. Arnold Schwarzengger killed legislation intended to reduce the risk of cosmetic surgery Sunday, citing the state's historic budget delay as reason for his gubernatorial veto.

"Given the delay, I am only signing bills that are the highest priority for California," Schwarzengger wrote in his veto message for AB 2968, by Assm. Wilmer Amina Carter, D-Rialto. He then added, "This bill does not meet that standard and I cannot sign it at this time".

Called the "Donda West Law," the bill was named after singer Kanye West's mother, who died after undergoing elective breast reduction and tummy tuck last November. The measure would have required patients to undergo a physical examination and therefore medical clearance prior to elective, cosmetic surgery to help avoid complications (normally, prudent surgeons would ensure that this happens anyway without being forced by state legislation).
Source: News 10 ABC.

Let's hope once the budget and tanking economy are addressed he will pay more attention to it, and perhaps board certification and credentialing will be put on the table as issues in the national arena on this important subject.

Has former Spice Girl gone under the knife again?

The world knows Victoria Beckham, formerly known as Posh Spice, as the beautiful, perfect wife of soccer star and hottie, David Beckham. With her pressed lips and soccer ball ta ta's, it seems as if Mrs. Beckham has gone under the knife for a second rhinoplasty. As noted in makemeheal.com the star seems to have also changed her hair from a cute blonde bob that had millions of women running to their hair dresser to have "victoria Beckam's cut" to now a dark fierce pixie cut.
It is speculated that Mrs. Beckham changed her hair so drastically to take away emphasis on her newly shaped nose. "Supporters of the nose tweak theory point that until she revealed her new hair do, Posh wasn’t seen out and about, possibly to give her the chance to recover from surgery."
Whatever it may be, Posh looks great, but I don't think she needs any more plastic surgery. If you've got it, flaunt it!

Heidi Klum au Natural?

Rumors have been going around that supermodel Heidi Klum, 35, has had breast augmentation. By the looks of these before and after pictures the rumors may be true. Before, Klum was a much smaller cup size-now she’s busting out of her bikini top. Since Heidi Klum has had children it is only natural for breasts to get bigger with breastfeeding and lactation. However, having children does not enlarge and lift your breasts naturally for a sustained period of time. In the past, Heidi Klum has not only denied having plastic surgery but has also vowed to never get it! She has stated that she’d rather look like a “dinosaur” than have plastic surgery. “I see that I’ve aged already. When I look at pictures now and when I see old pictures of me, of course I see I have aged. I don’t think I would have plastic surgery. I’ll be the only dinosaur in town, the only one that can actually move her forehead!” She blasted plastic surgery this past July by saying, “There’s something odd when you’re 35 or 40 and ironed to the max. You change with time, and it’s fine. Everywhere there are these stand-up cards saying, ‘Have a little silicone while you get your roots done.’ I want to be the opposite of that.” There has been no proof as to whether Klum has been under the knife, but certain pictures do show quite an increase in bust size. Make Me Heal has previously commented about Heidi Klum’s implants saying that they boosted her from a B-cup to a C-cup.

Source:Makemeheal
Photo source: Getty Images

Heidi was also rumored to have had a little lipo or mini-tuck to her abdomen, but I'll bet she just worked out a bunch after having children. At the age of 35 and after having those cute kids, I'd say Heidi Klum looks stunning for her age-but whether it's because of plastic surgery or not?...you decide.

PCD: Pussy Cat Dolls...but what does the P really stand for?

Could the "P" stand for plastic? Though there have been no confirmed reports, could these smoking hot singers have gone under the knife? There is a possibility that the lead singer Nicole Scherzinger has undergone a breast augmentation. The dolls may have had soft tissue fillers injected to their lips, to give them their full appearance. Also, despite their new advertisement with Bally Total Fitness, these pussycats may have had some lipoplasty to help sculpt their bodies. No matter how they did it, the Pussycat Dolls look good just in time for their latest CD release "Doll Domination". If they're keeping any secrets from us, they are sure doing a fantastic job!

people you fancy but shouldn't (part six).

The fantastically footweared Kirstie Allsopp.

Nuff said.

water sports for all.

A fairly short review for you now seeing as it's late here and that this has been sitting in a draft limbo for about four months.....

You know, it's a good job only about six folk read this, God help me if I had deadlines to work to.

The Girls Rebel Force of Competitive Swimmers (AKA: Joshikyôei hanrangu, Nihombie 2, Nihonbi 2, Undead Pool. 2006)
Dir: Kôji Kawano
Cast: Mizuka Arai, Sasa Handa, Yuria Hidaka, Hiromitsu Kiba and Hidetomo Nishida (There are many more folk too but I just can't be arsed listing them).

Aki (the tres cute-some star of Juicy Honey Handa) a former 'aqua terrorist' (who knew such a thing existed?) has decided to turn over a new leave and give up her exciting international jetsetting life to enjoy a normal, everyday life as a schoolgirl at a top Japanese school.

Unfortunately her first day is anything but normal; to begin with her new classmates decide that her welcome party involves being pushed into the swimming pool fully clothed and to make matters worse there's been an outbreak of a particularly virulent virus on campus that makes all those infected start to bleed from every orifice and begin to smell like a zoo.

How's your luck hen?

"Has anybody got any cans of orange juice?"

As if by magic a medical team (consisting of a pervy doctor and stern nurse) appear from nowhere to assist the pupils and administer a vaccine.

Which would be OK if only it didn't appear to make everyone's symptoms oh so slightly worse.

By that I actually mean turn them into scabby, short skirted flesh eating zombies.

Works for me.

By a strange quirk of fate tho' it appears that the chlorine in the pool counteracts the effects of the virus, leaving Aki free (but very wet) to lead a swimsuit clad band of schoolgirls in a battle for survival against not only the every increasing army of the undead but also her musically minded former boss and mentor who has cunningly disguised himself (well, he's wearing a lab coat) as the 'friendly' doctor helping the infected.

You see, it turns out that the virus is all his doing but this is only part of his sick scheme, a scheme that also involves touching up as many young girls as possible whilst playing a flute.

Dirty bugger.

"Fiona! Where's mah lunch?"

Rushing into battle against the evil doctor, Aki (not too surprisingly) gets a damn good beating and is left lying in a pool of blood ready to be muched on by any passing zombie. But as luck would have it her (up until now) shy new best friend Sayaka (long faced newcomer Arai) rescues Aki and, in an act of kidness that will bring tears to viewers everywhere, nurses her back to health by opening Aki's flimsy schoolshirt and dribbling soup into her mouth.

How sweet is that?

No need.

It seems to do the trick because in no time at all Aki is sitting up and sharing her sad tale of life as a killer for hire.

What follows is quite possibly the greatest fusion of dodgily translated subtitles, inappropriate incidental music and meaningful montage sequences ever committed to celluloid, featuring as it does slo-mo shots of Aki firing a machine gun whilst wearing a bikini, popping a butterfly knife into her pants, doing sweaty push ups with what looks like an orange in her mouth and sitting around topless looking bored.

Sheer genius.

The whole sorry tale is too much for the sensitive Sayaka who, with tears in her eyes reacts the only way she can.

And that's by stripping herself and Aki naked before indulging in a totally gratuitous lesbian scene whilst moaning loudly.

And biting her lip at the point of orgasm.

Photobucket removed the scan of the lesbian sex scene so here's a naked blood soaked Japanese schoolgirl (with her nipples covered of course)
instead.

Ready for battle (and probably another lie down) Aki is set to face her nemesis one final time.

Will she emerge triumphant?

And, most importantly will she be naked?

Who let the dogs out?

Kôji Kawano, director of the classic teen lesbian drama Love My Life and the soon to be classic Cruel Restaurant appears to have knocked out this lo-fi sleaze epic in a few hours between bouts of online gaming and frantic masturbation sessions, seeing as it consists of nothing but cheap gore and violence, unnecessary nudity and an abundance of soft core lesbianism aimed fairly and squarely at the 'I've never seen a lady naked except my mum' demograph.

Which frankly is a public service that must be applauded.

By no means perfect (tho' why it isn't with the plot it has is a wee bit of a mystery), it would be churlish (and a wee bit geeky) to point out this movies flaws and weaknesses when your average viewer is only watching for a glimpse of the square faced, hamster cheeked dream girl Sasa Handa's frankly stunning breasts.

Handa: Chinny Rackon.

Running at just under eighty minutes it never outstays it's welcome and, although the budget is lower than John Leslie at Crufts it achieves it never looks too cheap, widly throwing ever more bizarre characters and situations at the screen hoping at least a few will stick and cover the cracks.

Juggling, fire breathing zombies? Yup. A flute playing pervert in a lab coat? Check. A heroine with a deadly laser beam built into her vagina?

It has all this and more.

Well I say more but in reality is has all this plus a copious amount of pantie shots.

And breasts.

Go on, you know you want to.

POINTING THE FINGER, GIVING THE FINGER

It might be easier to simply state who isn't to blame for the current financial meltdown that is in some way going to screw almost all of us:

Honest, not overly greedy bankers, brokers and CEOs. Believe it or not, there are some.

Honest members of congress and scrupulous regulators. Well, I'm not so sure there are any of those. But I can always hope. Do they even allow that ancient Greek guy with the lantern to wander the halls of Congress?

Honest realtors. There must be some. I know of at least a couple who have tried to discourage potential customers from buying houses that they couldn't really afford.

Informed, careful borrowers and home buyers. Yep, there are some of these folk, too. People who know how to balance a checkbook better than the government does.

Of course it's a whole lot more fun to cast blame, to give the finger to the crooks, miscreants and feckless morons who got us into this fix. Who are these swine (I shouldn't say that, I like pigs)...Who are these evildoers (to lift a phrase from one of the chief evildoers himself) and fuckwits?

Our lame duck, shit for brains, president. He may have put aside his coke habit and disco shoes in the late '80s, but he's done his best to promote the ugly attitude of "greed is good." His profligate spending, at the same time as his slavish devotion to tax-cutting - mostly for his cronies and those of his ilk - have led the country into a state where if it was a corporation it would have no choice other than to file for bankruptcy.

Our corrupt, lobbyist tit-sucking, pipe-dreaming Congress. Maybe it's an honest mistake - fat chance of that - maybe they are a glass-is-half-full crowd on the Hill and they think that people are basically good and that left alone to their own devises they will be honest and good and work for common benefit. Why else would they be so quick to deregulate as much as they could - not, in itself a terrible idea - but without realizing that deregulation requires oversight and that some things actually do work better when they are regulated because otherwise bad people will, oddly enough, do bad things that throw it all into imbalance.

Alan Fucking Greenspan. Yeah, we all loved him when things were cruising nicely along and housing prices and stock prices were booming and the dollar was strong and all that. And yeah, he coined the term "irrational exuberance" to warn us all that we might be cruising for a bruising. He should have listened to himself. He kept lowering interest rates, over and over and over again and that just added rocket fuel to all of our irrational exuberance. And when the rocket ran out of gas before getting into permanent orbit - watch out below. What he was pushing was the financial equivalent of crack.

Corporate irregular regulators. In spite of what the white haired, ill-informed old fart running for president has to say, not so much the SEC. Sure there were plenty of artificially inflated stock prices on the market, but that was due to the artificially inflated economy as a whole, not so much to stock fraud, which is what the SEC is supposed to oversee. But, in spite of deregulation and in spite of Executive, Congressional and Corporate efforts to thwart the work of corporate and financial regulatory agencies, those agencies do actually exist and they could have done something, or at least said something. Instead, they just rolled over and allowed everyone to get away with whatever they wanted.

Greedy, short-sighted, thieving corporate executives. They've been so busy lining their own pockets that they have come close to killing the goose that's laying their own golden eggs. Of course they don't really mind, because they've stacked the deck so that even when they fail, their fall is cushioned with ludicrously large payoffs for having screwed up, or in some cases, having been caught cheating. They have no incentive to do good for their customers, the economy as a whole or even their own shareholders if they can still rake in seven, eight and nine figure severance packages when they fuck up.

Stupid, complacent, short-sighted shareholders, especially institutional shareholders. The first line of defense against corporate fuck ups shouldn't have to be regulators, it should be corporations' own shareholders. They have more at stake and so they ought to be more vigilant than anyone else when it comes to oversight. Mom and pop shareholders with their small portfolios are pretty much just along for the ride, they have no clout. But institutions, with their large portfolios, can make a real difference in corporate governance, if they can see past the quarterly reports - which they usually can't because they tend to suffer from the same willful myopia that infects too many corporate executives. If major shareholders see something going on that might hurt the long term prospects of a company, even if it looks good in the quarterly reports, they need to throw the bums out, and they need to take away the perks of failure when they do. When they don't, they're making their own bed of nails, and helping to make ours, too.

Speed freak, action-junkie greedy speculators. There are some very good uses for financial instruments like short selling, derivatives, hedge funds, etc. When they are used properly they help keep markets stable. But when people start seeing them as the means to turn a quick buck, and they all start piling on at once to try and move the market rather than adjust to it or simply to protect themselves from its fluctuations, they can quickly destabilize the market. Some of these assholes, too many of them, prefer volatile, wild markets, that's where they make the most money.

Greedy, lazy and corrupt realtors. Not everybody should buy their own home. Plenty of people can't really afford it. For other people, it doesn't make financial sense in their current circumstances. But there are more than enough realtors out there who are happy to convince them otherwise. They want their commissions. They get those commissions no matter how bad a deal gets made, so long as the deal gets made. A new homeowner can default on their loan a month after escrow closes, and it's no concern to the realtor who put together the deal. Their check is already banked.

Crooked, slimeball mortgage brokers. The greedy, uncaring realtor's best friend. They knew what they were doing but they didn't care. "Of course you can afford this house. I know a guy. First month's free." They knew they could package all those crappy loans into big juicy bundles that helped pump up the quarterly reports that everyone paid so much attention to and sell them on the bogus basis that, "sure, some of these are gonna crap out, but it's a risk worth taking because of the ones that won't fall apart and the property market's gonna keep going up anyhow, right?" Yeah, right.

Venal, loan-sharking credit card pushers. Just like some people can't actually afford to buy a house, some people ought to live on a "pay as you go" basis. It's got so that you don't even need credit to get a credit card. Whoopee, free money! At least that's what all those TV ads and credit card pushers on college campuses would like us to believe. Two percent APR for balance transfers. Oh boy! What they do is no different than what a heroin pusher does, only its more profitable.

Media fuckwits and pundits (which ought to be a swear word unto itself.) I don't give a shit whether they're liberal or conservative, what they mostly are is stupid and unable to live up to the task of being the most important watchdog this country ought to have. Analysis? "We don't need no stinking analysis," is what they'd say if they were honest, since that seems to be their real attitude. Why weren't all the so-called experts warning us all about this stuff for a long time now? Surely they weren't that stupid as to buy into it all? Well, apparently they were that stupid. They just got hypnotized by all the big numbers, because they figured that was something they could get their audiences all jacked up on. If mortgage brokers and credit card issuers were pushing heroin, the media's been shoving meth crystal into our brains.

You and me. (Well, not so much me, the only debt I've got is a good, solid mortgage that I can afford. I don't even use credit cards.) Now don't get me wrong, some people have little choice but to use credit cards, and for some people it does make sense to do almost whatever they have to, to buy a house. But let's face it, buying a house is, for most people, the biggest, most important expense they will ever incur. While there is plenty of blame to go around, part of that blame must be shouldered by people who leapt before they looked. When you're about to spend the most money you've ever spent, on something of vital importance to you and your family's future, you have to do your homework. If you don't understand something, you need to get it explained to you in a way that you do understand. If something seems too good to be true - "Credit, income, job? Oh, you don't need those to buy this house, I can get you a mortgage without even filling out any paperwork." - you need to assume that it is too good to be true. And if you don't, you're being a fool and you need to share in the blame when things go wrong. Even in a market where everyone is for the most part honest, the concept of "let the buyer beware" is vital to its smooth running.

Yes, we have a lousy educational system in this country, especially when it comes to teaching people about such things as fiscal responsibility. (And it's not like the government is setting a good example, either.) But everyone, when doing something, anything, significant, has to bear at least some responsibility for knowing what they're doing.

And yes, there are unscrupulous people out there who will lie to you, or at least deceive and confuse you, to get you to do things that aren't good for you. And if you're not aware of that already, grow up, fast. Con men have long been successful preying on the unthinking greed and stupidity of their victims. That's what's been going on in huge parts of the housing and credit markets. Sure, the con men are bad guys and ought to be stopped, locked away if they've actually violated any laws. But that doesn't entirely let their victims off the hook for being greedy or stupid or culpable in the mess that this country now finds itself in. "I didn't know that I should try and understand all that confusing paperwork involved in the biggest expenditure of my entire life, and the mortgage guy said I didn't need to," is an excuse that doesn't cut it.

Do I even need to say anything about people who max out their credit cards buying shit they don't really need and can't afford: giant flatscreen TVs, gas-guzzling SUVs, cruises, lost weekends in Vegas, whatever? And then they transfer the debt from one card to the next, maxing out one higher credit limit after the next, until they can't do that anymore and presto chango they're in some sort of huge financial trouble and contributing to the economy's problems when they default.

There are plenty of people who have no choice but to resort to credit cards to pay for legitimate necessities: food, clothing, housing, transportation. And those people are exempt from what I'm about to say.

But there are plenty more who have overextended themselves on consumer crap because they think that's their god given right as Americans - the most powerful, richest people on the planet. To them, I'd like to shout out a hearty - FUCK YOU! If there was any way to cut you morons out of any bailout programs, I'd be happy to do it.

For that matter I'd be thrilled to cut pretty much any of the miscreants listed above out of any bailout program. Or at least limit their participation in it to the bare necessities for preventing a total economic meltdown. I'm not sure how, or if, that could be accomplished. But it seems like giving Bush and Paulson carte blanche to do it the way they want to is just going to encourage too many of these crooks and cretins to eventually do the same things all over again.

where are they now? (part two).

Buki Akib, the original (and sexiest) Josie Jump.

Just call to say you're OK.

Ugly Betty Star Does Botox and Loving it!

Although Vanessa Williams did not win an Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series, she still looked like a winner! On the hit ABC show Ugly Betty, Ms. Williams plays a diva fashionista Wilhelmina Slater, fed up with trying to earn the job of editor the hard way.... so she decided to to marry the the owner of Mode magazine to control the magazine from the inside (Source: ABC.go.com). Not only is she a go-getter in the show but also in real life. She was the first African American to be crowned Miss America and decades later she still looks absolutely stunning and she might owe it all to Botox. The 45 year-old actress is quoted as saying "I certainly do Botox, which I definitely think that almost every woman that I know has imbibed ... And it's a miracle drug — no cutting, nothing — and I love it" she admitted on The Barbara Walters Special (Source Us Magazine). She has a forehead as smooth as a baby's bottom but she still has a few crow's feet around her eyes. She still retains some facial expression which is a sign that she does not over Botox. She also has impeccable skin, it may be due to products such as ProActiv ( she's a spokesperson for the product) or maybe she has done some laser treatments or facials. Well whatever the case she is a good example that a good beauty regimen and a some cosmetic injections can balance each other quite nicely.

What's Love Got To Do With It?!

Tina Turner, 68, is releasing a new hits album and her tour starts October 1st! She looks amazing! Back from retirement, she performed with Beyonce at the Grammys and is looking great as she takes the stage. In an article in People magazine this week she is quoted saying, when asked about how she keeps in shape, "I have no secret - I have good genes. But I get a lot of sleep and eat healthy." She credits her toned legs and body to swimming, hiking and ten hours a day of dancing. I think she also has a great plastic surgeon who helps her look young and refreshed! On makemeheal.com, it is said that she may have had a facelift, chemical peels, lasers and  Botox to obtain her flawless skin and taught face and neck. 

In a 2005 interview on 60 Minutes, Tina admits to undergoing reconstructive surgery to her nose to repair damage caused by her abusive ex-husband. Also, in an article from 1996, Tina speaks about her experiences with plastic surgery. She admits to having her breasts done after giving birth to her second son, "to put them back where they were."

Whatever she is doing, she should keep it up! 

Night of Beauty

Check out our Natrelle Night of Beauty on October 8th in NYC at the W New York Hotel. Metamorphosis Day Spa, who has won an Allure's Editor's Choice award, is teaming up with us. There will be an educational talk on breast augmentation, reconstruction after cancer, as well as breast health and mammography. In addition there will be mani/pedis, spray tans, MAC Cosmetics makeovers, Shiseido Skincare, and massages! Botox and Juvederm gift cards, too. If you are interested in attending contact us via email through email on this blog or by the website contact form on our practice website URL: www.drjenniferwalden.com.

flogging a dead bird.

Brigitte Nielsen's Complete Body Makeover

Brigitte Nielsen, the ex-wife of Sylvester Stallone and ex-reality-tv-girlfriend of Flavor Flav underwent plastic surgery on German TV live. This 44 year old Danish actress, underwent the surgery sometime last month. Her surgery was broadcast uncensored on “From Old to New: Brigitte Nielson in the Celebrity Clinic.” She underwent liposuction on her thighs, Botox treatments, breast lift, and likely a facelift after leaving rehab for alcoholism last year. In the past, she has had large implants put in. However, she may have received other treatments as she had said two months before surgery that she was going to get “a complete renewal: facelift, eyelift, fat injections in my face, liposuction, a breast lift and I need new teeth.” Source:makemeheal
(Photo above-right taken before her surgery for german tv.Photo left taken soon after surgery was performed)

In an article about Brigitte's addiction to reality TV and undergoing plastic surgery to stay competetive in this type of "workforce", Dr. Walden was asked to comment...go to abcnews.com to view the article.

"I'd cleaned up on the inside and wanted to freshen up," she told Hello!. "I had it done in Germany because they try to stick to your natural look. In America, no disrespect to the plastic surgeons - everyone comes out looking the same." Source:Usmag
About twenty years ago, Brigitte appeared on the cover of Playboy and she hopes to make it into another issue with her new body makeover in the coming months.
Personally, I think Brigitte may have aged a little early in life, which could be due to the fact that she may have been exposed to too much sun, stress, cocktails, or even smoking. However, as Brigitte sports her new look I must say that she's definitely looking better than before. Hey, we'll see if she ends up on an episode with her German plastic surgeon meeting Flavor Flav!

eye fidelity.

Marebito (AKA The Stranger from Afar. 2004)
Dir: Takashi Shimizu
Cast: Shinya Tsukamoto, Kazuhiro Nakahara, Tomomi Miyashita and Shun Sugata.

"Can I face the terror to which the only escape is to kill myself?"

Welcome to the Prozac fueled world of Takuyoshi Masuoka (Tsukamoto), freelance cameraman, manic depressive and pervy voyeur who rates recording the private lives of his unsuspecting neighbours and then sweatily watching them back whilst wearing only his pants and socks as his favourite hobby.

Whilst out picking up his (very) dirty laundry one day he is lucky enough to capture some footage of a poor guy committing suicide on the subway platform then (and how's this for a result?) even manages to sell the resulting film to a local teevee station (whilst keeping the full uncut version for his own personal use).

Well, it beats filming talking dogs for That's Life I guess.

With a beer in one hand and his cock in the other, Takuyoshi settles down to watch the final moments of (the by now identified) Arei Kuroki (Nakahara) as he takes his own life in a particularly unique way.

You see (no pun intended) Kuroki died by repeatedly stabbing himself in the eyeball with a pen.

Ouch.

Letting his voyeuristic tendencies take over, Takuyoshi quickly becomes obsessed with Kuroki's demise and, more importantly, the look of absolute terror on his face in those final moments.

What was he looking at? and did it cause him to take his life?

Takuyoshi has to know the answer.

Spending his every waking moment watching and re-watching the footage he suddenly notices that Kuroki is starting to stare at him from the screen (gah) and - if that wasn't freaky enough - new high speed images of bald bug eyed women (writhing in and out of big steel doors) begin appear on the video tape leading Takuyoshi to consider that whatever led Kuroki to take his own life must be living somewhere in the station.

Watch out watch out
there's a binman about!

Now to you or I this may seem like a bizarre jump of logic but to Takuyoshi this makes perfect sense (which is possibly a good thing as far as movie plots go, I mean imagine it if he spent the rest of the film going "Fuck me....it's almost like this video is moving! I really should get out more..maybe even get a girlfriend").


Returning to the station and armed only with his trusty camera, a Derek Acorah mug and a warm hat, Takuyoshi carefully makes his way down to the basement (who knew that underground stations have basements?....I thought that, by default it would all be basement) in search of a wee bit of suicide-based spooky shenanigans.

Much to his (but obviously not our) amazement, Takuyoshi comes across the exact same steel door from his dream (but alas no saucy bald girls....yet) which when opened reveals a staircase that seems to go down into the very bowels of the earth itself...

Exploring deeper and deeper into the tunnels Takuyoshi is fairly surprised (but incredibly calm) when Kurokito turns up to inform him that he has, in fact, entered the land of the dead.

The real one that is, not the George A. Romero film.

Light your way with a Ronco Nipple Lite!

As the mismatched (and odd numbered eyed) pair travel deeper into the tunnels Kurokito treats the audience at home to what seems like days of subtitled chat regarding everything from the Hollow Earth theory to Illuminati conspiracies, as well as giving Takuyoshi some advice on how to dodge a Deros if he should bump into one on his travels.

In case you're wondering the Deros are a species of short sighted blood drinking beasts that inhabit the caves that may, at some point look like sexy laydees (it's worth making a mental note of that as it may become important later).

Is this all making sense?

None of this weirdness even remotely freaks out old Takuyoshi tho' as he continues stomping ever downwards eventually reaching a huge cavern overlooking a dark abyss (but then again, what other kind of abyss is there?). The cavern, amusingly named the Mountains of Madness (twinned with Basall Heath no doubt) is completely empty apart from a quite foxy young lady (Miyashita) chained to a wall by her (very slender) ankle.

Obviously forgetting the conversation he had with Kurokito only moments earlier (and not even taking a moment to wonder why she's chained up) Takuyoshi frees the young woman and takes her home for a Cuppa Soup and a bag of cheese and onion Ringos.

Aw.....what a sweetie.

it's Ron Resrie!

Forgetting his pervy peeping tom past (well kinda) he begins to teach the strange woman what it is to be human (but luckily not in a cheesy Star Trek stylee) and even goes as far as to give her a name.

Well he calls her F.

No one said he was in any way imaginative did they?

Beware the love cats!

It's then that stuff starts going completely hatstand.

Whenever he checks up on her using his camera phone (well old habits die hard) Takuyoshi is certain that he can see her talking to someone in the background and not only that but he's absolutely positive that he's being followed by a spooky pale man in aviators.

Any of this would be enough to frighten even Yvette Fielding but Takuyoshi is made of sterner stuff, until that is, he's confronted by a strange (is there anyone who isn't in this movie?) woman on the stairs of his apartment block.

It appears that the other underworld residents are a wee bit pissed off that he's taken one of their own to the surface and, if he doesn't return her soon she will die.

Horribly.

Needing a stiff drink after all this major plot development he returns home to find his lady friend sprawled across the carpet in a death-like trance.

Rewinding thru' the footage from his in-house surveillance cameras he finds that both have stopped recording before anything remotely interesting happened (not even a hint of white pants, damn them) but before he can do anything else his phone starts ringing.

Never having any phone calls Takuyoshi excitedly answers only to have a deep voiced (and maybe deep throated...who knows?) man ordering him to return the woman to her rightful home.

Or else.

You can't give booze to the baby!

What on earth will Takuyoshi do?

Will he return the woman and quietly go back to his world of perving or will he ignore all the warning signs and continue to sit and gaze lustfully at his new roomie?

And will the fact that Takuyoshi has discovered that his new pal needs fresh blood to survive affect his decision in any way (remembering what he was told earlier)?

Or is there something way more sinister afoot?

Gums in mah mooth!

Takashi Shimizu redeems himself after the fucking awful US Ju-on remake with this spooky lil' adaptation of Chiaki (super screenwriter of The Sleeping Bride, Digimon and Ultraman Tiga among other cool stuff) Konaka's first novel.

Throwing common sense out of the window and concentrating on stylish visuals and creepy sounds Shimizu delivers a fantastically satisfying mix of Argento cool and Lovecraftian horror topped off with a smattering of early Roman Polanski whilst taking its backstory and premise from real world myths and legends means that although at times the movie seems to slow down to an incredibly meandering pace you know this means that something even stranger and more disturbing is about to happen.

Usually involving alternate realities and parrallel dimensions (which makes a change from long haired ghost girls I guess).

(dead) eye son.

Forgoing cheap frights and gore for a more cerebral approach to it's scares, Marebito delivers a fair few uncomfortable moments and disturbing images that will stay with you long after the movie has ended (well at least that night depending how drunk you are) and although never scaling the dizzyingly shite-scary heights of the original Ju-On: The Grudge is still worth a couple of quids rental in anybodies book (except maybe Rob Zombie who would no doubt want to remake it with his missis and a cast of midgets).

Jennifer Lopez- Actress, Singer, Fashion Designer...Athlete!

Jennifer Lopez can now add triathlon athlete to her long resume that includes - actress, singer, fashion designer, and mother. She completed the Nautica Malibu Triathlon on Sunday in two hours , 23 mins and 38.8 secs according to FoxNews.com. Its hard to imagine that she gave birth to twins, Emme and Max on February 22 of this year! Not only did she raise $125,000 for the Pediatric Cancer Research Program at Childrens Hospital in Los Angeles, she still had the energy to fly back to New York to give her hubby, Marc Anthony a surprise 40th birthday party. She looks great and she truly is a jack of all trades.

A few months ago Makemeheal.com reported that Ms. Lopez has undergone a mommy makeover which typically includes a tummy tuck to get rid of excess skin and fat and to tighten the abdominal muscles, liposuction, and a breast lift with or without breast augmentation. In a picture taken back in July 2008 showed JLo in a two piece bikini, with a body normal for a woman who has recently given birth. A recent picture of her at the triathlon reveals a much toned up body, it may due to the intensive training she underwent in preparation for the event. We've looked at her pictures and we think that she may not have gotten any surgical procedures since motherhood.....just good old sweat and tears!

johnny be good.

For the ladies (and a fair few gents) here's B-movie icon and father of Nancy Thompson, John Saxon as a (very) young man.

You would.

Twice.

Brooke Hogan's latest addition

Looks as though Brooke Hogan, reality star and daughter of famous wrestling champion Hulk Hogan is enjoying her new assets as she has been seen prancing around her home town of Miami, Florida in tiny bikinis and practically busting out of barely-there outfits.
From pictures seen on makemeheal.com it seems as this budding beauty has added on. "Perhaps her “girls” were feeling neglectful, singing along with her chart topping single, “What about us?” Brooke looks like she went up to either a full C or D cup with these implants, a little big but I guess it offsets her 6 foot tall stature

According to some sources like makemeheal.com, recent photos of Brooke have shown a scar in her armpit, suggesting that she had her implants inserted through the armpit. With this technique, a small one-inch incision is made in a discrete fold inside the armpit. Typically, the implant is placed partially under the pectoralis major muscle of the chest, which helps the implant look and feel more natural. The only question that remains is whether Brooke has gone for the now approved silicone implants or for saline implants. It's hard to tell from the photos whether she has saline or silicone implants, but since their FDA approval we have seen a spike in women wanting silicones because they look and feel more natural.

I’m happy for her, she seems to have gone to a surgeon who knew what he/she was doing, rather then hearing another sob story of a celebrity plastic surgery case gone wrong. Way to go Brooke!

general franco.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.